Holy Muttrimony, or What We Do for Fun in Small Towns

A note from Erin: This piece was written by my good friend and occasional partner in crime Hilda Thomas. It was originally published in the Dubois (pronounced dew-boyz) Frontier, and I ran across it again in some old files. I couldn’t help but share the laugh…

On August 28, 2010, in the dwindling dog days of summer, vows of holy muttrimony were exchanged between Cottonball Pink Canale and Skeeter Wiltshire Copp in an elegant wedding held on the lawn of the groom’s home on the River Fork Ranch, just east of Dubois.

Cotton, shy English Setter, was given in marriage by her parents, Dan and Lori Canale of Nashville and Dubois, while Skeeter, an exuberant stock-dog cross, was barely restrained by his single mother, Genie Copp of Dubois.

The bride wore a long white heirloom gown fashioned from a lace, tulle, and organza tablecloth.  A tiara headpiece and short veil completed her ensemble.

The maid of honor, Rubinetta Hapsburg d’Angelo Canale (a Miniature Dachshund), had been kicked by a horse the previous day, so she was carried up the aisle while swaddled in a pink Pashmina shawl.

The ring-bearer was Olie Copp, and their dog-eared pack of witnesses were Boris, Peeves, Milton, Missy, Solo, Cash, and Indy, all sporting varied snippets of wedding finery.

Justice of the Paws Ken Overfield performed the ceremony before the altar, a be-antlered faded log garden shed capped by a backlit triptych entitled “The Seduction,” created by Jackson artist Greta Gretzinger.  A smaller slate altar festooned with seasonal flowers, candles, and a miniature fire hydrant supported the Vita-Bone Bible of bow-wow vows from which the service was read.

The couple, addressed as Dearly Be-Legged, was exhorted not to bite or pee on each other and urged to always share their food. The sermon was cut short as various members of the wedding party were becoming unruly.

The reception following was held at the bride’s home on the river, where the piece de resistance was a liverwurst cake frosted with peanut butter. It was topped by resident artist Toby Birr’s hand-sculpted images of the bride and groom.

Ten-year-old Makenna McClure of Portland, Oregon, was the wedding planner, and attending guests had gathered from Baltimore, Boulder, Florida, Jackson, New York, Pittsburg, and Salt Lake City. The affair was recorded for posterity by special attendees Ted Wood, internationally-renowned photo-journalist, and Nancy Rome, reporter for the Washington Post.  All put on the dog and were magnificently attired, and each wore a Milk Bone corsage or boutonniere pinned with a sprig of sage.

Following a honeymoon swimming in the Wind River, the couple will reside in their respective homes on the ranch with occasional visits. As both are altered, the marriage shall remain childless.

“‘Twas the stuff of which memories are made…”

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